Let Positive Triggers Turn on Your Best Self

Thanks for all of your comments on the Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ blog and for all of your email! I am so glad that you have joined the No Garbage Trucks!™ Revolution!

We become happier when we stop accepting garbage in our lives, and we make the world a more beautiful place when we stop spreading garbage to others. Together we are making a difference.

While the best strategy in life is to steer clear of Garbage Trucks, there are times when a Garbage Truck is so big it is hard for you to get out of the way. And so you might get hit, or at least grazed by a Garbage Truck. Then your mood will change: You will take on the mood of the Garbage Truck. And then you will no longer be focused on what is important and good in your life.

So here’s a strategy I have been sharing with organizations around the world for a number of years. Use it and you will snap back quickly to a good and productive mood.

Take a read and let me know what your “stickers” are. What are your positive triggers?

Best to everyone!

David

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Let Positive Triggers Turn on Your Best Self
by David J. Pollay

One day last year I was sitting in my office, by myself, and I wasn’t feeling good. Yes, it’s true. I research, write and speak about Positive Psychology, but I admit it, I wasn’t having a good day.

Here’s my first question: Where do you look when you’re feeling bad? Most of us look down. And that’s what I was doing in my office; I was looking down at the floor.

And then I started laughing! I realized that Ariela and Eliana, my 2 and 3 year old little girls, had put stickers all over my shoes. Somehow they slipped them on when I was kissing my wife Dawn goodbye before I left the house that morning. Just thinking about my little girls slipping stickers on my shoes without my knowing made me laugh. But then I laughed even harder when I thought, “Where had I been all morning with stickers stuck all over my shoes?!”

It was at that moment I got it. The stickers my little girls had put on my shoes were a positive trigger for me. They instantly made me feel good.

So here's my second question: Where do you look when you're feeling good? You look up! And that's what I did in my office; I looked up and my day was reset. I had a second chance to make my day a good one. I was experiencing positive emotion.
Research studies from around the world have confirmed the power of positive emotion. Positive psychology researcher Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina, best known for her “Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotion,” found in her research that positive emotions widen your attention, they increase your intuition, and they increase your resilience to adversity. Alice Isen, a psychology researcher at Cornell University, demonstrated that when you experience positive emotion, you are more kind, generous, and helpful. Isen also found that you’re more creative and better able to solve problems requiring “ingenuity and innovation.” Neuropsychology researcher at the University of Wisconsin, Richard Davidson, discovered that positive emotions help boost your immune system. And at least three studies have shown that there is a strong connection between a longer life and experiencing frequent positive emotion.
Here's my takeaway. If you are being chased by a bear in the forest, you should feel plenty of negative emotion! As my grandmother used to say, "Run like the dickens!" Otherwise, positive emotions help you think better and they help you build better relationships with others. People prefer to be around curious and creative people, more than around people who always seem to be running away from bears!

And I’ll bet, if you ask the people in your life, they’ll tell you that when you’re experiencing positive emotion, you do better work, you’re a better leader, you’re a better spouse, and you’re a better friend. I know that I’m a better dad to two little girls when I’m experiencing positive emotion.

So what are your positive triggers? What makes you smile? What makes you laugh? What puts you in a creative mood? What triggers your passion, excitement, and hope? For some of us it's looking at pictures of our loved ones. Some of us listen to a favorite song. Others go for a quick walk, or do a little dance. Some read a short, funny story. Others remind themselves of their goals. Take a moment to think about the things that trigger your positive emotions.

Think of it this way. When you enter a dark room, what do you do? You reach for the light switch. Because you know when you flip it, just like that, you’ll have light.

So what's your light switch? What turns on your positive emotions? What positive triggers will help you look up when you're feeling down?

Need some stickers?


David J. Pollay is a syndicated columnist with North Star Writers Group, creator and host of The Happiness Answer™ television program, an internationally sought after speaker and seminar leader, and the author of Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™. Mr. Pollay is the founder and president of The Momentum Project, a strengths-based training and consulting organization with offices in Delray Beach, Florida and Washington, D.C. Mr. Pollay is also the associate executive director of the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA). Email him at david@themomentumproject.com.

The Law of The Garbage Truck!™

By David J. Pollay
(also known as “Beware of Garbage Trucks!™”)

How often do you let other people’s nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you’re the Terminator, you’re probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of your success is how quickly you can refocus on what’s important in your life.

Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. And I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here’s what happened.

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, the car skidded, the tires squealed, and at the very last moment our car stopped just one inch from the other car’s back-end.

I couldn’t believe it. But then I couldn’t believe what happened next. The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. How do I know? Ask any New Yorker, some words in New York come with a special face. And he even threw in a one finger salute! I couldn’t believe it!

But then here’s what really blew me away. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, “Why did you just do that!? This guy could have killed us!” And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck™.” He said:

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you.

So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me. You’ll be happier.

So I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street? It was then that I said, “I don’t want their garbage and I’m not going to spread it anymore.”

I began to see Garbage Trucks. Like in the movie “The Sixth Sense,” the little boy said, “I see Dead People.” Well now “I see Garbage Trucks.” I see the load they’re carrying. I see them coming to dump it. And like my taxi driver, I don’t take it personally; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

One of my favorite football players of all time was Walter Payton. Every day on the football field, after being tackled, he would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best. Over the years the best players from around the world in every sport have played this way: Tiger Woods, Nadia Comaneci, Muhammad Ali, Bjorn Borg, Chris Evert, Michael Jordan, Jackie Robinson, and Pele are just some of those players. And the most inspiring leaders have lived this way: Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Ghandi, and Martin Luther King.

See, Roy Baumeister, a psychology researcher from the University of Florida, found in his extensive research that you remember bad things more often than good things in your life. You store the bad memories more easily, and you recall them more frequently.

So the odds are against you when a Garbage Truck comes your way. But when you follow The Law of the Garbage Truck™, you take back control of your life. You make room for the good by letting go of the bad.

The best leaders know that they have to be ready for their next meeting. The best sales people know that they have to be ready for their next client. And the best parents know that they have to be ready to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses, no matter how many garbage trucks they might have faced that day. All of us know that we have to be fully present, and at our best for the people we care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their life.

What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

Here’s my bet: You’ll be happier.

David J. Pollay is a syndicated columnist with North Star Writers Group, creator and host of “The Happiness Answer™” television program, an internationally sought after speaker and seminar leader, and the author of “Beware of Garbage Trucks!™ - The Law of the Garbage Truck™.” Mr. Pollay is the founder and president of TheMomentumProject.com, a strengths-based training and consulting organization with offices in Delray Beach, Florida and Washington, D.C. Mr. Pollay is also the associate executive director of the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA). Email him at david@themomentumproject.com.